Who do you spend the most time with?
Is your peer group full of people that support you and push you to be better? Or do you associate with people that bring you down, discourage you, and are satisfied with being average?
Who you hang with the most is important. This is something that a lot of motivational speakers and success coaches talk about. They namely talk about ‘the 5 people you spend the most time with‘.
This is because we become the people we associate with most. It’s human nature. We want to fit in.
Birds of a feather, flock together.
If you’re 5 best friends are bums with no drive, no passion, no goals, and are going nowhere, then you’ll become the 6th.
On the other hand, if all of your friends are chasing their goals, working hard, and staying motivated, then they will lift you up. You’ll start to become more like them.
The theory is pretty simple.
I began hearing a lot of people talk about this principle, and reading about it in a lot of books. Almost every successful person I listened to talked about this fact.
But, it wasn’t until after watching a Dan Pena interview that I decided to actually evaluate my social circle and do something about it.
Dan Pena says ‘Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future’
I figured that if I was hanging around people that were more successful than me, then that would be ideal. I’m naturally a very competitive person, and figured that being the least successful in my group would push me to do whatever it took to succeed.
So, all I needed to do was find some successful friends, who were entrepreneurial, and doing well in the areas I wanted to succeed in. And then, I needed to spend my time with these new friends, and say goodbye to the old ones that didn’t align with my goals.
As you may have guessed – it’s not quite that simple.
Not only that, but I liked my friends. Some of them didn’t fit the mould, but I liked them nonetheless.
I was facing a bit of a dilemma, but here’s what I decided to do:
Step 1: I stopped hanging out with anyone super negative as much as possible. I limited spending time with unmotivated people as much as I could. I still spent time with my friends, but mainly those that had goals, and a good level of drive to achieve them!
Step 2: I started listening to videos/podcasts of successful people, and reading their books more often. I know this isn’t exactly the same as hanging out with these people, but it’s close. For every hour I spent around negative and unmotivated people who’d drag me down, I’d try and spend 2 hours listening to what successful and motivated people had to say.
And that’s it. That’s my 2 step process for changing my peer group. I know I’m not physically with the people I listen to, but they influence me daily.
These days, the 5 people I spend the most time being influenced by varies. But usually it consists of people like:
– Tony Robbins
– Brandon Carter
– Elliott Hulse
– Tai Lopez
– Greg Plitt
– Richard Branson
– Steve Jobs
– George Bezos
– Warren Buffett
– Dan Pena
– Brian Rose
– Peter Sage
I figure that if I get to hang around these people by listening to them speak, reading their books, or watching videos of them, then that’s going to build me up. They’re going to keep me motivated, excited, and thinking big.
After implementing this strategy, I slowly started to achieve more and more.
I continue to practice this strategy each and every day, and it allows me to achieve more than I ever would otherwise!
For this to work, you just need to be around these kinds of influencers more than you hang around any unmotivated people.
Simple as that.
However, once in a while it is nice to actually hang around and talk to other people who are like-minded.
This is where the internet is an amazing tool. There are lots of different forums, courses, and communities online where you can meet and communicate with people just like you. You can push each other and hold each other accountable to your goals.
And of course if you’re motivated in a similar way as me, you can compete with these people too!
Another great way to get around people who are like-minded is to seek them out.
Search online for meet-ups in your area. Or if you’re able, then travel to areas where other entrepreneurs work.
For me I did this when I visited Chiang Mai in Thailand. In Chiang Mai there is a huge community of entrepreneurs living on the cheap, and starting up their own companies. These people were location independent digital nomads, that made their money online. Just like I do.
Some people I met there were making upwards of $1000 per day!
There were meet-ups several times per week to discuss various topics, and I was sharing co-working spaces with these people every day of the week.
As you can probably guess, being in this environment raised me to a new level of productivity, motivation, drive, and most importantly – results.
Now, obviously this isn’t an option for everybody, but if you are location independent then I recommend it highly if your social group is in need of a change.
So, what is your social group like?
Are you spending your time being influenced by people who are satisfied with being average, or are you around motivated individuals that will push you to succeed?
Be careful about who you spend your time around.
Your friends may be nice, but they may also drag you down – unintentionally or not, it doesn’t matter.
Change who you spend your time listening to each day, and you will change your life.
All the best,